Dancing Alone
by ThisIsFunnn
Summary: Ross doesn't accept Rachel and Joey's relationship.
1. Dancing Alone

**Dancing Alone**

_Why does my heart cry?  
Feelings I can't fight  
You're free to leave me, but just don't deceive me  
And please believe me when I say I love you_

He tried not to think about it. At first he thought that it was a nightmare, but no, he was wrong, this was really happening. He closed his eyes again, but those images appeared. He wanted to forget them. In some way he knew that that would be impossible, he would have to learn to live with that, even if the was the most painful thing he had to do. They made clear that they weren't going to change their decision of being together after seeing his reaction. Yes, his reaction was the most important one.

After all, he and Rachel had a huge history and it didn't start when she appeared in a wedding dress the day of her wedding with Barry. It started when Ross first laid his eyes on her, when he first started to imagine his life with her. And that happened a lot of years ago. Whoever said that they didn't have a story behind, it's because they didn't know them. And Joey did know them.

He knew Ross' feelings for Rachel; he knew how he wanted to be with her and how he imagined their lives together. But since Rachel started living with him things changed little by little. First, when Rachel got pregnant with Ross' baby and Joey told him that he was in love with her. How could he possibly think that he would be OK with that? He was in love with his Rachel, his only Rachel, the only one that could love Rachel was Ross, not Joey. He was the womanizer, the guy that sleeps with women one night and doesn't call them the next morning, even if he promised them.

Ross knew that Joey didn't deserve Rachel. But if he started to think, did Rachel deserve him? They went out for a year and he knew that she didn't love anyone the way she loved him. But it seemed that that wasn't enough for Ross and cheated on her. Even nowadays he regrets what happened that night and she should know that if he could go back to that night, he would change everything. She should know…

But she didn't know and now she wasn't with Ross. They hadn't been together for a long time now. A long time for him, in which he tried to get over her and failed. He failed because she was always there, to remind him that no Mona, no Emily would replace her in his heart. And she was good at that. He would always come back to her, he was weak around her and she knows that. She knows him and she knows how to use his weakness. Until today he knew that she would use him as that whenever she wanted. Until today he wasn't aware of what was happening. It felt like he was born today, he woke up today from a dream and entered to live a nightmare.

He somehow knew that it would be impossible for him to forget that day, when he discovered that he'd been in a bubble and was blind enough for not seeing what was happening around him. He felt like he'd been cheated. Funny how in the past he was the one who cheated, but now it was the other way around. He felt cheated by Rachel. Not only Rachel, also by Joey too.

They betrayed him.

_He walked through the familiar stairs with Emma in one of his arms and her bag in the other one. He thought about visiting Monica, but he knew that Emma missed Rachel so he decided that he would leave her with her mommy first and then he would visit his little sister. He walked through the door without knocking, after all this years they came used to it._

_When he entered the apartment there wasn't anyone there. This seemed kind of strange to Ross, because he expected to find Rachel reading on of her fashion magazines in the counter, but instead he found an empty apartment. Suddenly, Joey emerged from his room. He was rubbing his eyes, so Ross thought that he just woke up._

"_Hey Joey" He greeted him._

"_Hello Ross" His reply was a quiet one, as he was afraid of talking to him._

"_I'm going to put Emma in her and Rachel's room" He said Ross as he headed to the room._

_When he entered there he found a very neat room. He knew that today was Rachel's day off from work and he also knew that in her days off, she didn't use to make her bed. He sensed something different in the air, because Rachel was nowhere to be found and it seemed like she didn't sleep in her room. Did she have a date last night? He couldn't remember her telling him about a date. He left Emma in her crib and left the bag in Rachel's bed, before going to the living room._

_Joey still stood there, very close to his bedroom door, as if he was trying to hide something. But Ross failed to notice that, he was still thinking of where Rachel could be._

"_Joey, why is Rachel's bed-" He stopped talking when he saw Rachel emerging from Joey's bedroom._

"_Good morning Ross" _

_Ross was lost in his thoughts. Well, he wasn't lost because in that moment he wasn't even able to think. He couldn't process what he just saw. He blinked a few times, trying to understand what was going on in front of him. Did Rachel just emerge from Joey's bedroom? What was she doing there?_

_Rachel and Joey both dreaded of this day. They knew that Ross wouldn't take the news very good; hell, the reaction he had right now was better than they expected. But somehow they knew that he would explode any moment. He had all the right to do that, to act like a crazy person, but he remained quiet. He remained looking at them with a surprise look, he was trying to explain himself why he was in that position._

"_Ross, we know that we need to explain this to you, but what you're seeing is true, we're together…" Rachel started talking softly, trying to explain the news to him as gentle as possible. Because she was sorry, she was sorry for Ross, she didn't plan for this, but it happened and now there wasn't a way of saying that it didn't happen._

"_Ross we will understand if you get mad at us, it's totally normal, but we would like to talk to you, to tell you how it happened…" Joey said, afraid now of the uncomfortable situation that was surrounding them._

_But Ross wouldn't move for a while. He was still looking at them and still he couldn't understand what was happening there. He needed to know why Rachel and Joey were together, but he didn't want to hear anything about it. What did she see in him? He thought that Rachel still loved him. Didn't she tell him how she would never forget what they use to have? Apparently that was out of her thoughts now. She did forget about him and he wasn't going to accept that. _

_He wanted to punch Joey. He really wanted to, but that didn't seem the king of thing to do to show Rachel how much she meant to him. Because now he admitted to himself: he still loved her, very deeply. Having Emma only made it clear to him every day that he was almost living his dream. He always wanted to have a family with Rachel. They had the child now, he only needed her. And he was going to show her what she had lost by being with Joey, she was going to regret calling him a cheater, she would regret it every day of her life._

_So instead of saying something, anything that would make them know what was he thinking, he just left. He left as fast as he could. He left because he realized that being in the same room with them it would only make him sick. They made him sick, sick of being in this world and not having the only thing he wanted to have. Everything he ever wanted was now in Joey's hand, she was in his possession._

_He arrived to his apartment and locked the door. He would need time to think. He knew it would be difficult, that maybe it would be the hardest thing he would ever have to do, but he had to. He deserved it and Rachel deserved it. He would think and then she would regret. Yes, that was his plan. Now he had a plan. _

As he remembered that he realized that he didn't even made a plan. He'd been locked in his apartment for days now. He didn't talk to anyone of his friends, not even his sisters. He'd been alone for days. He hadn't had contact with the life outside his apartment. He disconnected the telephone the second he arrived to his apartment. If he had to think he didn't need anyone telling him how sorry they were now that Rachel and Joey were together. They would never understand how he felt in that same moment and there wasn't a word to describe it. The only one who could change what he was feeling was Rachel. She was the only one who would change his situation, but he knew that that would be impossible, so no one could help him.

He looked around his apartment to see how messy it was. Realizing this he thought of how he must look. He had been locked in his apartment for days now and he hadn't seen a soul, not even his children. He thought of Ben, of how he was becoming the man Ross always wished he would. He thought of Emma, of how the relationship of her mother and Joey would affect her. She lived with them and that hurt Ross. That meant that Joey would live more with Emma. He was the first one who felt how she kicked for the first time. That hurt him and also hurt him to know that when she was pregnant with his baby, he felt in love with her.

Just weeks ago, they were talking about how Ross imagined his future with a new baby. Of how he wanted a wife and a family. Joey had been there, listening to him, listening to every word and also giving him advices. And then, just a few weeks later he tells him that he's in love with her. He told Joey that he wasn't mad, but the truth is that inside he was burning. He couldn't bear with the thought of Joey being with Rachel and look now, here he was, hiding from them so that he wouldn't see them together.

Of course that it hurt him to see them together. He never did such a difficult thing. But he couldn't stay all his life locked in his apartment. He had to continue, maybe not for him, but for his children. Now Emma had a stepdad… Tears fell from his eyes. He even considered of giving up, thinking of the most extreme choices, but then he would think again and try to think of something new. If he had to move on, he had to start now. And he would start by facing Rachel. He had to talk to her, see her point of view of her relationship and who knows, maybe still there was a little room for him in her heart.

He got up from the couch and went to the bathroom. He knew that he was headed to a very difficult talk with Rachel and a long shower would calm him a little bit. He dressed up and left his apartment. When he stepped out to the street he felt like a strange man in a strange city. Being in his apartment for days and alone clearly didn't do any good to him.

With decided steps he crossed the street and entered in the familiar building. As he was walking to the stairs he couldn't help but remember the last time he'd been there and how it changed his life. He stopped in front of the door of the apartment 19, afraid of opening it, not wanting to know who was inside or what were they doing it. He took some courage from somewhere inside him and placed his hand in the doorknob and open it.

Rachel was, as always, reading a fashion magazine on the counter. When she saw who walked to the apartment, she didn't expect that. She hadn't seen him in days. The truth is that she didn't even call him to know what he was feeling, she wouldn't know what to tell him. But now he was in front of her and she knew that in some moment one of them would have to start talking.

"Hello" His voice was soft.

"Hey"

There was an awkward silence between them. What were they supposed to say now?

"If you are here to take Emma, she's sleeping, I just put her on her bed, but once she wakes up I can take her to your apartment if you want"

"Oh, yeah, thank you, but that's not why I'm here"

"No? Then what do you want?" She was afraid of what he was going to tell her next, because she could see this coming, he was here because he wanted to talk and she wasn't ready for that. For a moment she wondered if he was ready for that too, she could tell that this was very hard for him.

"I came here to talk with you… you know… about you and…"

"Me and Joey?"

"Yeah…"

"And what do you want to know?"

"I don't know what I want to know and what I don't. I guess that you could tell me how this started? I didn't expect to come here and find you… you know…"

"I know. We didn't expect you to come either, so in a way it was a surprise for all of us." She tried to smile, but failed when he saw the look he had. He was devastated. His eyes looked different, they didn't have that sparkle they used to have when they were lovers.

He didn't say anything for a while. She could tell that he was waiting for her to say something more.

"Um.. about what happened between Joey and I, well, it just happened. One day he had a terrible date and he arrived home very sad. I was watching TV and we started talking about how we wanted a relationship that could have a future. It wasn't a plan, but as I told you, it happened. We talked a lot and started thinking in what it would be if we got together. You know how when I was pregnant with Emma, well, he had these feelings and well, lately I have to recognize that I started looking at him differently. And well… we decided to take that to another level."

"I see. So you just decided to take it to another level? That's it?"

"Yeah, that's it. We wanted to know if we could work as a couple." By the tone she used to say this Ross could already sense that she didn't like his question.

"I'm sorry if I'm making a lot of questions, it's just that, well… this is hard for me, to believe that you could fall in love with Joey."

"And why wouldn't I fall in love with him?" She certainly wasn't liking his comments, she was getting more angry by the moment.

"I don't know. Joey doesn't seem your type and let's face it, he has never had a relationship that lasted more than a week…"

"Well, we've been together for a month now, so I guess with me he's different."

"You've been with him for a month? Why didn't you say something sooner?" Now he was the one who was getting angry, they've been together for a month and he didn't know anything. Knowing it sooner wouldn't make him happier for them, but, ugh, he was so angry with them that he could blame them for all the pain he was suffering. After all it was their fault…

"We wanted to keep things to ourselves for a while and Ross who do you think you are to talk to me like this?"

"Who I am? I'm the man who's been in love with you for like all his life. The man who thought that was going to be with you forever. The man that thought that his best friend would never fall in love with the love of his life. The man that has a daughter with you. Do you want more or I can stop here?" His temper was rising and now nothing was stopping him. If this was the last chance he had to tell Rachel about his feelings, then he would say everything he had in mind.

"Ross all of that doesn't matter anymore, okay? You can't come here thinking that I'm yours. I am a free woman, I can do whatever I want and I can fall in love with whoever I want."

"You in love with Joey?"

"Yes, I am. He's giving me what I thought that no man could give me and he's willing to give me whatever I want."

"And do you think that I wouldn't give you everything you deserve?"

"Well, since you slept with that copy place girl, yes Ross, I really thought that you would give me everything I wanted" She told him sarcastically.

"You're being very unfair to me Rachel. You know very well that I didn't sleep with Chloe on purpose. I was drunk and totally lost because you called that break. I thought that I lost you, okay? I didn't know what to do and I wasn't even aware of what happened while I was with her. I could only think about you…"

"Ross, you think that all this sweet words change what happened. It only makes everything worse. You're reminding me of one of the worst night of my life and please, don't say anything more okay? You're not going to change the past."

"Don't say that Rachel. You meant everything to me and you still do. What's more, I love you. I loved you since a long time now and nothing is going to stop that. I loved you in the past, I love you now and I will love you forever. So you can accept that or not, but it's the truth."

"Ross you can't come here to tell me that you love me. I don't feel the same and start to accept that you and I are never going to happen, not again. I don't want to feel all the hurt I felt with you. It's too much for me and you should try to move on Ross. There's no reason of trying anymore, accept it, there's no going to be "us" anymore…" Rachel could feel her eyes tearing. It was painful to her too to say goodbye to him. He had been a very important person to her, but now she had other preferences and he was only her daughter father and her friend, nothing more.

"Rachel I can't believe you're baling on us again. You did it years ago and you're doing it again now. I love you, both you and Emma and I don't want to spend the rest of my life watching you with Joey. It's too painful for me. I want to be with you and I'm not going to stop until I get you."

"Again Ross, I'm not yours anymore, I'm not a toy. I'm with Joey now and I'm happy. I would never think that I would feel this way about him after us, but I do and I don't want to change a thing."

"I can't believe you're saying that…" He was speechless. After all he did a lot of thinking these days and he really thought that what she felt about Joey was nothing serious, but now he was regretting this. He shouldn't have come here. He should have stayed locked in his apartment forever and that way he wouldn't have to hear everything she's telling him now.

"Believe it or not, it's why I feel Ross and you can't do anything."

"Okay.." It was clear that every word he would say wouldn't change her mind, so if words didn't make an effect on her then movements would do. He tried to approach her, very slowly. She could feel what he was up to and in some way she wanted to push him away, but she wanted to see how far he wanted to go, how far he was going to go. He continued to get closer to her, she could already feel his hot breath against her cheek and his look was focused on her lips. She looked at his lips too and thought about his kisses, about how he used to kiss her with such tenderness and always made her feel so special. Sure Joey's kisses weren't the same, but she was going to get used to it, she had to…

Finally, he placed his hand on her hips and very slowly, while he closed his eyes, he put his lips against hers. The touch was soft, as always. They didn't make it further because in a matter of seconds Rachel pulled away. She knew that this was wrong and she didn't want to give him hopes. When she looked at him she knew that he was disappointed that she broke the kiss and he was afraid of looking at her. So without eyeing her more, he turned and left from the apartment. As he closed the door Rachel brought her fingers to her lips, not wanting to forget their last kiss…

All the way to his apartment, he thought about his future. He only had to cross the street to reach his apartment, but what he thought in that time would change his life. If Rachel was going to be with Joey then he had no other choice than to accept that. But he couldn't watch them together, it was something that couldn't bear. So he thought that the best thing would be to leave them behind. If he had to move on from her, then that it would be easier if he did it away from her. He decided to accept that job offer they gave to him weeks ago.

Now he was sure. He was going to start a new life and it would be away from her. He would leave his children too, he thought of that, but there was no choice. After calling some people, he started packing, if he had to do this, he had to do it as soon as possible. He packed the most essential things he would need and he went to the living room. He took a seat on the couch and took a paper and a pen. He started to write a letter to Monica, explaining her everything. It would be hard for him to leave her, after all she had been a great support in the last years, but he knew that she would understand.

When he finished writing, he put the paper in an envelope and took his bags. He crossed the street for the last time and he looked to the building. A building that gave him some much and now he had to learn to live without it. For the last time he went up to those stairs and while he was between the doors to the apartments 19 and 20 he remembered lots of memories he had. He remembered how all started and how he was finishing with this era. He took the envelope from his pocket and placed it near the door. He took one last look at those doors that gave him so much and walked to the stairs.

He was saying goodbye to a very important era. He had good times and bad times and from now on he would start a new era. He would try to forget what he had to forget and would start to have new memories. Memories that didn't include his best friends, his children or his parents. But he would do this for them and for him. Of that he was sure. He was saying goodbye, goodbye to his old life, welcome to a new life.

**The End**


	2. 5 Years Later: The Epilogue

**Dancing Alone: The Epilogue**

_Dear Monica,_

_I know this isn't the best way to say goodbye or whatever, but it had to be this way. You know that the last news about Rachel and Joey hit me hard. I tried to be okay with the idea, to accept it, but it's just the hardest thing that I had to do. I can't forgive everything Rachel and I we've been through. We've had a huge history during all these years and yet, she throws everything we shared to the trash. I know that she didn't mean that, but she did and I can't forgive her for that. She hurt me a lot._

_And about Joey I don't even want to talk. I thought he was my best friend. Now I know what kind of friend he is. I hope I never have to see them again. I wouldn't be able to look at them. The only thing that hurts me is Emma. I love her so much that I don't want her to have a bad memory about me. Make sure that she knows who I am. I don't want to think about Emma calling Joey `dad´._

_I'm sorry if you wanted to say goodbye or just wanted to give me a goodbye hug, but I had to get out of here. I still don't know where I'll end up. The only thing that I will tell you is that I got a job offer and that's what I'll do for a while, try to work as much as I can. I promise to call you the moment I arrive to my destination._

_Love,_

_Ross Geller_

---

**5 Years Later**

5 years passed since Monica went home from work one night and found this letter from Ross in her door. She cried very hard when she read it. She knew that her brother was going through a lot of pain, but she never thought that he would leave the city. But he did. He left and never called. He promised he would call, but he never did. Not once in 5 years and nobody ever knew a thing about Ross. They got used to live without him.

At first it was hard. Monica couldn't understand why he didn't call. He promised and he didn't keep his promise. She knew that her brother wasn't the type of not calling, but she thought that maybe he wanted to forget about New York for a while. He would call when he was ready. But he never was ready, Monica never received a call from Ross.

On the other side of the country Ross was packing the last things left in his apartment. He'd been living in Los Angeles for five years now, since he got that job offer as the Head of the Paleontology Department of the Los Angeles University. It was an offer that wanted for a long time and when he received it, and looking at the circumstances, he thought that the best thing would be to take it. And he didn't regret his decision not even once.

In all these years he buried his head on his work. He worked a lot and tried not to think what he left behind. But as much as he didn't want to, he always thought about it. About what they would be doing in that exact moment, about what happened between them, if they were still together or not. It was his right to think about that. He tried to call, but once that someone would take the phone, what would he say?

So he tried to avoid that, no phone calls, no letters. He lost contact with all of his friends and his family. Of course that he missed them, but he had no choice over that. He wasn't ready to face them. But now he had no other choice. He was going back to New York, he was going back to hell. He once tried to get away from there, but somehow he always found a way to return.

He was scared of what he was going to find there. He didn't want to know anything, but he knew that once he was there, there was a chance of running into one of his friends. He was scared that they might be together yet. That was his biggest scare. He run away from that and now he had to face them again. But he knew that, even if they were still dating, he would have to meet them again, he wanted to know how his daughter was.

That was one of the most difficult thing he ever had to do, to leave his children behind. He remembered how Rachel once got scared because she was afraid that he would abandon her and Emma. And look at what happened. He did abandon Rachel and Emma, even if he promised her that that would never happen. He used to make promised, but it had been a long time since he made the last promise, he knew that in the end he wouldn't be able to keep it.

He thought about Emma, about how would she look like now. He didn't have any doubt that she would look like replica of Rachel, a six year old Rachel. Many times Rachel told him that she also had his features, like his nose, but he would always deny it, making his wish real, that he would once have a child as beautiful as Rachel. But now he wished that she would still think that, that when she would look at Emma, she would see a part of him in her face. He also thought about Ben, of how that boy would be. He thought that he already should be as tall as him.

As he thought about his past, he finished packing everything he needed to pack. His time in Los Angeles already ended and now he had to go back to New York. He knew that this day would arrive, because he knew from the very beginning that this job was for that amount of time. But he never thought that this time would arrive so soon. He wanted to do more things, like to be ready to go back to New York.

He took his bags and with one last look at his apartment for the last years, he closed the door and headed to the cab that was waiting for him. His parents were the only ones that knew that he was coming back. He didn't have a place to stay and being with his parents would be the best idea, to live them for a while. He knew that the first days would be difficult, that he would have to answer a lot of questions, but that was a price to pay, he had to do it. Silently he said goodbye to the city that maintained him in peace for five years…

Back in New York Rachel was getting dressed to go to work. Emma was having breakfast and in her way to the office, she would leave her at school. Emma was a very smart girl for her age. Sometimes Rachel thought that she knew too much. She was very interested in science, just like her father. For a moment Rachel thought of Ross, of how much she missed him in all these years. It was a daily basis to think of him. Every time she would look at Emma, she could see him and she would remember him.

Life wasn't easy without him. At first she noticed that because Emma wouldn't stop asking for her daddy and Rachel didn't know what to say to her daughter. Emma missed him and Rachel missed him too. Emma needed her father and Rachel needed another hand helping with Emma. But with the help of her friends, she managed to take of her daughter all alone. Well, not entirely alone.

Joey had been with her too. They've been together for five years now and even if at first she had to get used to him, she did with time. And with time she also learned to love him. She did love him, maybe not as much as she would be able to love Ross, but she did love Joey and Joey also loved her. She always liked being loved and Joey was giving her everything she wanted. She knew also that it wasn't easy for their friends. After Ross left, they somehow imagined that Rachel and Joey wouldn't last, that Rachel would regret doing what she did to Ross, but they were wrong. In some way Ross now being around, made Rachel want Joey more and that made their relationship go stronger.

And it went like that for them for five years. Not even once they thought to take it further. Many times their friends asked them if they were going to marry, but they always denied that. Not that they didn't want to spend the rest of their lives together, Joey knew that for Rachel marriage was a big thing and that she thought about that while she dated Ross. Now that she was with him, he wanted to make sure that she really wanted that. He was sure that one day he would call her as his wife…

Meanwhile, Ross was at the airport waiting for his plane. Part of him wanted to be on that plane and be in New York as soon as possible, but the other part of him didn't want to leave Los Angeles. He had peace in the five years he had been here and he had to be ready for what was waiting for him in New York. He thought he was ready, but every time he thought about what Rachel or Emma would be doing in that exact moment, he would think that going to New York was a mistake. He wanted to be with them so badly.

A voice confirmed him that it was time for him to get on that plane. He took his handbag and say goodbye for the last time to this city. He took a seat and as the plane took off, he closed his eyes and let the imagination to wonder free…

---

_It was very early in the morning when Ross woke up. He had been dreaming, but once he was up he knew that what he was living in reality was even better than the dream he had. He dreamed of a life, a life that was set in the future. It was the way he imagined it would be. He had been imagining that since he was a kid. But what he was living was way better than the dreams._

_He only had to look to his left and take a look to his dream, to his dream come true. Just a few months ago he wouldn't believe that he would be like this with her, but he was and he couldn't be happier about that. She was the light he needed, the dream that he thought it would never happen. And he wanted to make sure to prove her that every day, every day they spent together._

_They had been together for two months already and even though he was enjoying their time as much as he could, he couldn't help but think that time was running very fast. They both were sure that they were going to last together as much as they could, but she was Rachel, she was this beautiful, gorgeous woman that any guy would want to have and he was scared of losing her._

_She was still asleep but as he thought about that he hold her closer. She had her head on his chest and that feeling never felt so good. Carol wasn't the kind of sleeping so close to one another and Ross missed that. Rachel on the other way was the opposite thing. She always made sure that she was as close as she could to him, hugging him and throwing her arm around his body._

_Life was perfect when Rachel was around. He couldn't believe how much she changed his life. And now he wouldn't change what he had with her for anything. He wanted to make her life perfect, to be worth it. He got up as quietly as he could, trying not to wake her. He went to the kitchen and started making her breakfast in bed. He couldn't remember the last time he made breakfast in bed to a girlfriend, but with Rachel everything would be different and he would surprise her every morning with a delicious breakfast._

_He made eggs and also a little bit of coffee. On the way back to the bedroom, he tried to be careful not to spill out what he had on the tray. He set the tray near the bed and took a seat on the bed. He watched her for a long time, admiring the way she slept, looking like an angel who just fell from heaven. Even if he hated to wake her up in such way, in a way he had to, either way their breakfast will be ruined._

"_Rach sweetie, it's time to wake up." He said as he planted a kiss on her forehead._

_She let out a very non-optimistic sigh. Slowly she opened on eye and then the other one. When she saw that Ross was the one waking her up, she smiled._

"_Mmm… good morning."_

"_I made you breakfast in bed" He said as he planted another kiss, this time in her cheek._

"_You're unbelievable" She said as she kissed him on the lips._

_The enjoyed the breakfast they made and after that they took a joined shower. He always tried to enjoy their intimates' moments together as much as he could. And yes, she was great in that area. And from what he could hear from her, he wasn't that bad either. He never considered himself a good lover, but Rachel made sure that he was always complimented. _

_After the joined shower they decided to spend the rest of the day together, far from their friends, a day just for them. It's not that they didn't want to be with them, but Ross waited a long time to be with her like this, to call her a girlfriend and he wanted to live this moment as much as he could. He wanted to have her in his arms as much time as he could. They would have time to be with their friends tomorrow. Today was just the tow of them…_

_They didn't need to do anything especial, they knew how to appreciate each other while being together. Words weren't necessary most of the time, they used to speak by looking at each other's eyes. Hers were like the ocean and Ross loved to get lost in that ocean, he loved to swim in her waters. The way she looked at him, so intensely, drove him crazy. Many times he imagined how it would be to stare at her for hours. He never got tired, it was one of the moment he liked while they were together. It made him believe that she was with him. _

_As a fifteen year old kid he used to imagine what it would be to be on a date with Rachel. She didn't know this, but during the time they used to live in Long Island and Rachel used to spend a lot of time in his house with Monica, Ross overheard one of the conversations she and his sister were having. Just the day before Rachel went on her first date with Chip and she was telling Monica how the date went. He could tell that by her tone she sounded very happy, because after all Chip was the boy every girl in high school dreamed of. _

_But suddenly Rachel's tone changed. She told Monica that the date with Chip wasn't the date she had dreamed of. The date was okay, yes, but she wanted more. Chip always told her that he would treat her like a princess, but the previous night she felt anything but a princess. Apparently they had a little dinner at a local restaurant, the perfect place for the first date, but not enough for Rachel._

_She started telling how her perfect date would be. Ross still was with his ear planted in Monica's door and didn't miss a word Rachel started saying. She told Monica that first of all her date should pick her up, dressed very nicely, not necessarily with an expensive suit, and from that moment they would start living a dream. He would take her to the most romantic restaurant, with candles and everything, and they would have a nice dinner, while they chatted about everything and anything. After dinner he would take her to take a walk and hand in hand they would go to this beautiful park. In the park they would sit on a bench and with her hands still in his, he would plant a sweet kiss on them and told her how beautiful the night was being and how much he likes her. He would talk to her in a sweet voice, not wanting to disturb the peaceful night they were having. And to finish they're great night, he would give her the most perfect kiss. A kiss that she would never forget._

_Rachel finished her ideal date with a sigh. It was her right as a teenage girl to dream about the perfect boyfriend. Her first date with Chip was far from being romantic, but she had the hope that with time he would learn how to make a perfect date. Meanwhile, Ross grabbed those words in his mind and never forgot them. If in the future he had the chance to date her he would take her to her perfect day, of that he was sure._

_As he looked at her eyes, he thought about what he heard that day in his house. He still remembered every detail of what she told Monica and he still had to make sure that she got her perfect date. And he was about to discover what her reaction would be. He had planned this for a while now and he was going to take her to the perfect date tonight. He couldn't wait…_

---

Ross opened his eyes and found himself on the plane. He still had an hour until New York, but the dream he just had confused him. It was so real that he was sure that he could still feel her kisses all over him. He looked around and when he saw a flight attendant he asked her a glass of water, he would need it.

When the plane landed Ross prepared himself to what was waiting for him on the other side of the door. The moment he crossed the sliding doors, his parents were already waiting for him. Judy threw her arms to her son's neck and hugged him with force. It had been five years since they last saw and talked to him. Five long years that were gone. Now it was a new start for Ross.

"Welcome back son" Jack hugged Ross.

"Hello dad" Ross greeted him. He looked at his mother again and saw that she had tears in her eyes. "Mom, don't cry, I'm here to stay, I'm not going anywhere." He told her while he hugged her and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"I know that son, but these last five years were very hard for us, we didn't know where you were. Now I'm really happy that you're here, but I notice that you haven't been eating well, so as soon as we arrive home I'm making you a nice lunch." Judy said as she dried her tears, with a smile in her face.

Ross chuckled at that, his mother didn't change a bit in all these years and he was glad of that.

When they arrived home, Ross noticed that nothing changed in all these years. He missed this. It was his first home. His home when he was a teenager. His home when Rachel used to come to be with Monica. The home where he first fell in love with Rachel…

After a generous lunch, Ross went to his room to unpack. The boxes from California still didn't arrive, so all he had to do was to put his clothes in the closet. He finished early. Monica always taught him how to organize the bags when he had to travel and now he used to follow those steps every time. Every clothes he had was neatly folded. And now that everything he had to do was done, he didn't know what to do.

He went downstairs, to find his parents in the living room, watching TV. He took a seat next to them on the couch and started watching the movie. It was an old movie, probably from the 60's, still in black and white and it was hard for him to keep his eyes open. Just when he would close his eyes, he would hear one of his parents laughing and look at the TV to find at what they were laughing. Still, the movie was very boring for him and he didn't want to fall sleep in the couch. He told his parents that he was going to call it a night. He would be up until later in a normal day, since it was still 5pm in the afternoon, but he flied from California today and the jetlag was making its work now.

Back in his old bedroom, he changed from his clothes into pajama bottoms and a white t-shirt. When he lied in his old bed, he felt a weird feeling. He hadn't slept in that bed in years, probably the last time he slept there was in his college times. He remembered those times with a little sadness. It were the times in which he still dreamed about Rachel, when he still thought that maybe one day she would be his wife and they would have an extraordinary life together. Yes, he might be dating Carol back then, but that didn't mean that he didn't have the right to think about the love of his life. And now it was the same way. He closed his eyes, and for some moment remembered those dreams he used to have, in which Rachel would enter in his bedroom that same moment and confess him that she secretly had a crush on him for a long time.

But then he would open his eyes again and see that she wasn't there. This time he did the same thing. He opened his eyes, but his brown door was still closed. There was no Rachel, nor her heartfelt confession. Just a door, a simple door.

And he thought about his life. He was back in New York. He would start working in a week and he lived with his parents. His life was pathetic. He was still in love with the same woman he has loved since he was 15 and here he was again, thinking of her, while she was God knows where. He wondered if she was still dating Joey. Just the thought of that made him shiver. And instantly thought about Emma, his little girl that he missed so much. It hurt him not to be able to stay in touch with her, but he had to cut every touch with New York and that's what he did. But now he had the hope that maybe one day, he would have the chance to meet her again, to see if she grew up to be a heartbreaker just like her mother, or if she took after him. With the thoughts of his daughter, he closed his eyes and fall asleep.

A few weeks later Ross was trying to hail a cab in the busy street of New York. For the last weeks he buried himself into work and spend most of his days working, trying to catch up everything. But today he had no work to take home and since it was still early for dinner time, he decided that he was going to make a tour, visit the places he used to frequent. And the first place to do that was the Village.

As the cab pulled into the streets, he found himself looking at different buildings, looking that these streets had changed while he was in LA, but somehow the feeling of being there and the spirits of the streets were the same. The cab stopped a few blocks from Central Perk. He knew that it was a little bit dangerous for him to be there, because he was afraid that one of his friends would find him there and ask questions, as they always do. And right now he didn't have the energy to answer to all of those questions, he still had to prepare himself to face them.

He realized that it had been a while since the cab pulled off again and he was still in the same spot. 'People must think I'm crazy', he thought. Yet, he wouldn't allow himself to move. He didn't know where to start. Should he go to Central Perk and have a coffee? Maybe one of his friends was there and he didn't want that. So Central Perk was out of his plans. Now he had to think of another one. And since he wasn't far from there, he thought to visit his old apartment. It was still risky, because it was an area that was frequented by his friends, but he was in New York. He could think that there was a chance for them to find him there, but also he could meet one of them in some weird place. The thing is that the risk was there and he had to admit it, even if he didn't know if he wanted to admit it.

He took his first step slowly and began walking. He noticed that the laundry place was still opened. 'Oh, how many memories…' He remembered how nervous he was that day, the day of his first day with Rachel. Okay, it wasn't what you call a normal date, but still he liked to name it that way, it gave that day a special meaning. And also it was the first time Rachel kissed him. It was short, just a little peck, but everything he dreamed of during a lot of years. He also remembered their last kiss…

Slowly, but surely, he was arriving to his old apartment when he suddenly stopped in his tracks. Rachel was on the other side of the street. She was alone and somehow he didn't know if he liked the idea or not. Did that mean that she wasn't with Joey anymore? 'Ross, don't be stupid. When you're dating someone you don't have to be with them 24/7', he thought. Or at least that's what he obliged himself to think. But he knew that he and Rachel spent a lot of time together, they would do whatever it took them to do to be together.

But he wanted to study her face in that moment. He lived five years, five entire and long years without seeing her and now he was doing it. And it was always a pleasure to look at her. Although in the past he was able to read her face very well, right then, in that moment, he couldn't tell if she was happy or sad. She was running, probably she just finished work and wanted to arrive home early to prepare a nice dinner to Emma. Well, he didn't know if she would be able to prepare that dinner, since she never showed much cooking skills, but maybe she improved these years. Anyway, her vision could be a little game from his imagination. It was fast, because soon she was out of his sight, but he wanted to believe that he really saw her.

She was even more beautiful than he remembered. She always had been the kind of girl that took take of herself and she would prove to everyone that she was more than a face or a body. She captivated him years ago, and also demonstrated how she could do whatever she wanted to do. Her first job wasn't what she wanted. She was born to work in fashion and love fashion, and she managed to work in fashion. Her dream came true. Rachel's dream came true, but Ross' dream just finished. But he moved away those thoughts immediately, he didn't want to think about one of the worst time of his life. Mark wasn't going to do any good to him right now.

He wished that he had the courage to go after her and say hello or just greet her. But he knew that would be impossible for some reasons: one, courage, he didn't have it and it was essential for him right now; and second, because he knew that the moment she would see him she would continue with her path or maybe slap him on the face for what he did to her these last years. Yes, the best idea would be to go home. He didn't know if this trip to the Village meant something or if it was worth. Well, it was worth, he got to see Rachel, even if it was for a couple of second. But with Rachel every second was worth it.

And for days, that's the only thing life gave him. Every day, after he finished work he would take a look to the time and wonder if he would have time to go to the Village and maybe, only maybe, see her again. But, he would leave it as that. He would never take a cab and tell the driver to drive to the Village. Instead he would find himself with his parents, in the living room, watching some lame program. That didn't make him forget about her. All his life was about her and she still had that effect on him. For the past few days he couldn't forget that image of her, the way she was holding her work bag or the way her hair shone and how the wind would play with it.

But today was a different day. Today he wanted to make an exception. It was time to face everything; he would have to do it, sooner or later. He was determinate, he had to do it, he wanted to do it.

The ride to the Village seemed like the longest ride of his life. Maybe it was because he was nervous or maybe because he didn't think about what he would do once that he was in front of one of his friends. What if he sees Joey? What is going to tell him? 'Are you still with Rachel? Because I'm still madly in love with her and I can't wait to be with her.' No, he couldn't do that to Joey. But he didn't want to see Joey, it was still hard for him to think that he was with Rachel, and he, instead, wasn't. And what about Monica and Chandler? He knew that his little sister only wanted what's best for him, but he also knew that these years without him, had to be hard for her too. In all the time he'd been with his parents, they would tell him if he wanted to visit Monica and Chandler, but he always refused. So no, he still wasn't ready to be with them. And Rachel? She was another story, she was completely different, she would always be.

As he was standing in the newsstand in front of Central Perk, he couldn't help but look inside the coffee shop. The orange couch was still there and he could se Gunther in the counter, teaching a new waitress how to make coffee. He remembered the crush Gunther had on Rachel and how he was always jealous of him. He wondered if he felt the same way when he knew that Rachel was with Joey. He was looking for some dollar in his pocket to pay the magazine he took, when he heard a familiar voice behind him.

"Ross? Is that you?"

He turned around to see who was the one that was calling him and found Phoebe with a wide smile in her face.

"Hey Pheebs." He smiled. He didn't know if he should hug her or not. But he saw that she approached with her stretched arms.

"Hey Ross. How are you?" She asked her while she broke the warm embrace.

"I'm fine, really fine. How are you?"

"I'm good, very busy at the moment, but great." Ross saw that her smile was still there. She seemed to be very happy to see him there. "Where have you been all this time? I've missed you so much. When Monica told me about the letter I didn't want to believe her."

Ross felt guilty. "I know it wasn't the smartest thing to do, but Phoebe you have to understand me why I left. I couldn't be here…"

"I know, and I understand" She told him. He now realized how much he missed Phoebe. Yes, people will say that she was a bit weird, but she was a great friend and always there when he had a problem. Besides, she was a huge fan of her lobsters…

"Look Ross, I would love to chat and catch up with everything that has happened all these years, but I'm running late. I have to take Summer from Mike's parents' place."

"Summer?" Ross asked surprised.

"Yeah, she's my daughter. Well, me and Mike's daughter. She's three years old."

"WOW. I'm really happy for you guys. I'm sorry I wasn't here, you know, for everything, but I would really love to meet her someday." And he was truly happy. Phoebe deserved that and more.

"Yeah, we should meet someday and talk. Have a real talk, about everything."

"I would really love that."

"I'll call you"

Phoebe kissed him on the cheek and said goodbye. Ross watched her as she walked down the street. This was it, he took the first step. He faced one of the "demons", although, Phoebe was far from being a demon; she was like a hippie angel.

But now Ross was happy, well, not entirely happy, but at least he got to talk to Phoebe. And from now on, they would talk about what happened all the time he's been away. Of course, he can't wait to know what happened to Joey and Rachel, but he can't ask her that. If better if she tells him, like something he should know, but shouldn't be important to him. But she knows that everything that revolves Rachel is important to him, and even more if Joey is included.

He knows that he has to take things with patience. He will let Phoebe tell what she wants to tell. If she decides to talk about Rachel, then he will listen to her. And if she decides to talk about everyone else, then he'll have to listen too, he has no other choice. They were his friends. He would like to think that they still are, but he's not very sure about that anymore.

So Phoebe made a promise and she called him two days after. From that moment on, they've met a few times, all of them to talk and to know what they've done in this time. Of course Ross didn't have much to share. All his days consisted on waking up in the morning, spend all the day in the university working and then he would arrive home late at night, ready to go to bed. But what happened in New York was a lot more interesting. Apparently Monica and Chandler moved to Westchester, after adopting their twins. Ross knew that before he left, his sister commented something about adoption, but they were still thinking that option. But he was happy for his sister, she made one of her dreams come true, she was a mommy know.

She also talked about herself, on how after Monica and Chandler had their adopted twins, she and Mike started to think about it too. She saw that all her friends had kids now and she wanted that too, Rachel had Emma and Monica had her twins, she wanted to experience what it was to have a child. So they started trying and about a year later they had little Summer. Phoebe tells that she's the light of her life, that she changed a lot her life and that now she can't imagine her life without Summer. Ross can help but agree. These last years he's been away from his children and he missed them so much.

And as much as he loved hearing about their thereabouts, he couldn't wait to know what he wanted to know. And Phoebe seemed to read his mind, because she could see that yes, he was enjoying what he was listening, but he wanted to know other things too, things that were more important for him. So she started to tell him that Rachel and Joey had been dating since he went to LA. 'Great, so everything had been a dream, Rachel didn't abandon Joey for him.' Ross thought. Apparently they've been really happy in all this time and even though, their friends encouraged Joey to propose, he hasn't given that step yet, saying that he wants to wait for that. But Phoebe told him that Joey told Chandler that he didn't want to propose yet, because he knew that Rachel always thought that she was going to marry Ross and when it didn't happen anything like that, she has a different view of marriage. So in the end, the reason why Joey hasn't proposed yet is because he's scared that Rachel is not ready to marry him. She always thought that she would marry Ross and now she has to accept that Joey is the one.

Ross was surprised to hear that. He always saw Joey as a very confident person, a person that knew what to give to his girls, but this was new. But what hurt wasn't that. It was the fact that Joey was planning on proposing, which could mean that he already had a ring. 'I guess that now I don't need the ring I've been keeping in the closet for such a long time…' Ross thought. Reality is that he really had planned on proposing in their anniversary, but his plan didn't work. But the thought that Joey was going to propose meant that his feelings for Rachel were real. Ross wanted to know if what Rachel felt was real too. He once thought that he would be her husband, but the Mark came into scene and he changed everything.

Phoebe also talked with him about Emma. Of course Ross wanted to know about her and Phoebe assured him that she's a very happy child. She's a clear copy of Rachel; same hair, same eyes and same manners. Ross smiled with that. She was a copy of Rachel, just the way he wished. If he couldn't have the real Rachel, then he would have to have her copy, and the most important thing is that he participated creating a mini-Rachel. He was glad of that.

He also asked Phoebe if he should talk to Rachel and he told her about the day he saw her. Phoebe could see how his eyes changed. He always had a different sparkle in his eyes when he talked about Rachel and Phoebe witnessed that he didn't change a thing. He would always love her, even if she was with another man, almost about the get engaged, apparently. But she also told him that some day he would have to talk to her, so that she could know that he was in the city. Ross admitted that he was scared. He didn't know how she would react and even though he couldn't wait to talk to her and be with her, he knew that he had to be patient. He told Phoebe if she could tell her that he was here, but she told him that he should be the one to tell her that.

This was going to be hard, but if he had to do it, then he would do it, for him, for Rachel and for Emma.

After a lot of meeting with Phoebe, which some of them included her lovely daughter, he decided that it was time to face Rachel. He did know that today was her day off at work and that she would be at home. He thought that at first it would be good that Emma wasn't there. He only wanted to talk to Rachel; he would have to wait a little bit more to be with Emma. He also knew that Joey was shooting an episode of his TV show, so that meant that he would have to leave home very early in the morning.

He suddenly found himself in front of the building of Rachel's apartment, a building that meant so much to him. He saw that a neighbor was going out, so he took the chance that the door was opened to go inside. He looked around. Everything was the same way as it was 5 years ago. Sure some things had been fixed, but other than that, the same. He went up in the stair until he reached the floor. The two doors still remained the same way, as green as they always were. He wondered who was living in apartment 20 now, since Monica and Chandler now didn't live there. But he changed his thoughts; he came here to talk about Rachel, not to stay for hours looking at the doors.

He looked to the door of the apartment 19. He lifted his hand and just the he noticed how nervous he was. With a last breath, he knocked the door. It took Rachel a few seconds to open the door, but when she did, she had a face as if she saw a ghost. Who would tell her, that in this peaceful morning, her former lover that had been disappeared for five years was going to knock in her door? But most importantly, what was he doing here? And now?

"Hello Rachel." She noticed that he tried to smile, but was afraid of that.

"Hello." Her voice sounded calmer that he thought. He imagined that once he saw her she would start screaming.

"How are you?" He asked. They've been for a long time in silence and he thought that he should start with a little talking.

"Good. You?"

"Fine." He was still trying to read her face expression. He couldn't find any feeling there.

"Can I come in? I would like to talk to you for a bit."

"Sure." She opened the door so he could enter in the apartment.

He noticed that Emma's toys were scattered in the living room. Different dolls, with different kind of clothes. And he also noticed that she still kept his orange dinosaur, the one he'd given her when she was a baby. That melted his heart… He turned around and Rachel had her arms crossed in her chest. He should start talking.

"I don't even know how to begin with this." He started. She noticed that he was nervous, very nervous. "Rachel I want to apologize for these years, for not being here, you know, helping you taking care of Emma, or just as your friend. I just wanted to say that I needed to get away from here."

"Emma has been fine. The others helped me." Her voice still sounded cold.

"Look Rachel, I know that you're mad at me, hit me if you want and if it's going to make you feel better. But I want everything to be normal again."

"I'm not mad at you."

"You're not?" He was surprised.

"I'm not. I just don't understand why you left."

"Rachel, I had t leave. I couldn't see you with Joey. I tried, believe me, I tried really hard, but it was impossible. I couldn't do it, I had to leave."

"Then why didn't you wrote a letter or just give us a phone call? Ross, it was as simple as that."

"I know but in that moment I wanted to forget about everything and when I realized what I had to do, well, it was late, I thought that you wouldn't accept an apology." He didn't want to melt her heart right there, just to understand what he was feeling back then.

"And is this permanent? Did you come for good?"

"Yes. My contract expired and I didn't have other choice than to come here."

"And you're living in the city?" Suddenly she was interested in his life.

"No I live with my parents in Long Island. I've been there for three months now."

"Three months?"

"Yeah, I came back three months ago."

"Oh." She didn't expect that answer.

A few moments passed in silence.

"I know this is not going to be easy but I wanted to let you know that I would love to meet Emma. I've missed her and I don't know if she knows that I exist, but I would like to spend some time with her."

"She knows you."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yes, she asks about her daddy and we always show her an old photo."

"We?"

"Joey and me. We're still together."

"I know. Phoebe told me."

"You've talked to Phoebe?" This man didn't stop surprising her this morning.

"Yeah, I run into her a few weeks ago. She told me everything that has happened while I was away."

"She told you everything?"

"Yeah, mostly everything. Why? Is there something else?" His heart started beating even faster.

"Well…" He could tell that he touched a sensitive spot.

"Is there anything I should now?" He instantly fixed his eyes in her left hand, not wanting if that's what she was telling him, but he was right. A big diamond decorated her finger.

"Oh, I can see."

She knew that he didn't like what he was seeing. She hurt him, but what else could she do? He left her, he left her when she could go back to him. She would if he gave her some time. She was so confused at that moment.

"It's still very recent, that's why she didn't tell you anything."

"Right." He looked at her. "I'm happy for you Rach. I'm sure he'll treat you the way you deserve."

"Thanks."

"Look, I just wanted to let you know that I'm in New York and talk about the whole Emma issue, but I think that I'm going to go now. I mean, we can talk another day…" He said as he started walking in the direction of the door.

"You treated me like a princess." He stopped in front of the door.

"What?" He turned around to see if she was serious or if it was a bad joke, but her face was very serious.

"Don't think that he's everything I've looked in a man. Yes, he makes me happy and he's really good with Emma, but you weren't worse. Of course you had your little things, but Ross, I loved you. Don't forget that. And I will always love you, you'll always have a small spot in my heart."

"Why do you say this now Rachel?"

"Didn't you want to hear that?"

"Well, I'm very flattered that you feel that way, but as you can guess my feelings for you have always been very big and…" He didn't know what he was saying. "Shit." He murmured.

"Ross. Look at me."

He looked at her.

"Do you still love me?"

"Does this matter?"

"Maybe."

He considered his answer, but sisnce he didn't have anything to lose, he chose to tell her everything.

"Yes, I love you. Even more that I loved you years ago. These years away from you made me think and now I have my feelings confirmed."

"Thank you for telling me those things. Really I didn't expect anything alse."

"But does it change anything?"

"What do you want to change?"

"You said that if I tell you how I feel it would change something."

"Ross, you telling me your feelings doesn't mean that suddenly I'm in love with you. I love Joey. I've been with him for more than 5 years, I'm engaged to him, we're getting married. You really thought that if you confessed your feelings I was going to run into your arms?"

"No." He said it, but he wasn't sure about it anymore.

"Ross, I'll never forget the year we spent together or the fact that we have Emma together. But you have to know how I've felt these past years. They've been very hard for me."

"And I'm sorry for that Rachel. If you want me to say that, I'll say it. I'm sorry."

"Ross you can say that you're sorry a million times, but that won't change anything. I'll continue engaged to Joey and you'll be… alone." She didn't want to say that word, but it came out accidentally.

"No, I understand. Really. I should have done the right thing at the right moment, and instead of me doing the right things, it was Joey the one who did them."

"Yeah."

"So are you happy with him, I mean, really happy?"

"Yes, I'm very happy."

"More than you were with me?"

"Ross, don't ask me those questions. You're two different people and I can't compare you to Joey. He's just… different."

When she said that word he knew what she should felt the night of their break up. 'Different' is not the word he was looking for, he would prefer another word.

"Look, Ross. You just have to accept that nothing will happen with us again. I'm with Joey and as I told you 5 years ago, I didn't think that he would make me happy, but he does. And he's good to Emma."

Hearing his daughter's name Ross thought if Emma ever called Joey 'daddy'. Just thinking about that was killing him.

"Rach, I told you that I want to be with Emma as much as I can from now on. And I know that Joey is been good to her. If he was good with you, he would be good to Emma too." Rachel could notice that this was difficult for him.

"Ross, she knows who her daddy is. I want you to know that. She knows that Joey isn't her father." Rachel said knowing that it's something that he wanted to hear.

"Thank you. I was afraid that she would forgive me. She was very little when I left."

"I never wanted her forgiving you. She's dying to meet you again. Lately you're all she can talk about."

"Yeah?" Ross was now smiling.

"Yeah, she had to do a little work for school last week, in which she had to talk about her parents and also bring a photo of her with her parents. She was very happy with that."

"I'm happy to hear that." Ross was smiling widely.

"Ross you're allowed to see her whenever you want, but give me some time to talk to her. She's been waiting for this a lot of time."

"Of course, take all the time you need. You know where I'll be."

"Maybe, sometime during next week, we could go to school together. I'm sure that she'll be really happy when she knows that her daddy is going to pick her up."

"Really, Rach?"

"Yes Ross. I know that we've been through a lot, but I want that to change. We've spent 5 years apart and even that, I want to start with you again, as friends. We are Emma's parents and we have to give her the best we can. We'll have to do it together."

If it wasn't for that rock in her finger, he was sure that he would cross the room, take her in his arms and kiss her for all she was worth. She has changed a lot in these years. Ross couldn't believe how nervous he was before he came here and now everything is like 10 years ago between them, but with the difference that they have a beautiful daughter and that she's engaged to Joey.

"Can I see a picture of her?"

"Sure." Now Rachel too was smiling widely.

She went to one of the shelves and took a framed photo. It was of her and Emma, and Ross could see that they were mother and daughter. Emma was a clear copy of her mother. He was aware of that, because Phoebe told him, but when he saw the photo, he couldn't believe that he had been a part of the creation of that baby.

"She's really beautiful Rachel. Phoebe told me that she was just like you and I couldn't help but imagine a mini-Rachel, but she's even more beautiful now that I see her in this photo."

"Thanks. She's a very smart girl; I guess that's what she got after you. Her teachers always compliment her."

"Well, that's really good to know." He said as we took a look to his watch. "Rachel, I just want to say thank you for all you've done with Emma and also thank you for everything, for this talk. I have to say that I was kind of scared to talk to you, but it was really good."

"Ross you don't have to be afraid of me. We're friends. And yes, I also think that we needed to talk. It was a needed talk."

"Yeah… And you know how much I love being with you and talking to you, but I really have to go. I have to teach a class in an hour and I won't arrive if I stay here. Again, thank you for everything and call me to let me know about Emma."

"Sure, I'll call you as soon as I talk to her" She smiled to him.

"Okay, well, then bye Rach."

"See you Ross."

The hugged each other and he took the courtesy to give her a little peck in the cheek. With a last look to her, he opened the door and left the apartment.

He decided to take a walk before hailing a cab, so that he could think better about his talk with Rachel. He had a weird feeling right now. Yes, it hurt that she was engaged to Joey, but he was happy for her. Really happy for her. He always wanted the best for her and if Joey's what she chose, then he would have to life with that. Again, maybe it would give him some time to get used to them, to see them kissing or getting married. But he would do it for her, for the love her had for her and also for Emma. Ross couldn't believe how lucky he was. He had the most beautiful little girl and he couldn't wait to meet her. As Rachel said, it would be a great idea to pick her up from school. He couldn't wait to see her reaction and hug her. Hug her and give her all the kisses he didn't give her during all these years.

This was going to be good; not what he thought he would have, but it was going to be good.

And he was looking forward that.

**The End**


End file.
